[note: this was written august 17 around 1 am. i hadn’t made this blog then, but i figure i may as well post it here now. anyways…]
so, i leave in the morning to start over at a whole new school.
it doesn’t feel like,
1. school is starting again. this summer went faster than most, and especially being at camp it doesn’t feel like i get a lot of sitting back and breathing time. (not that i’d rather have that than be at camp, but you know.) getting back into studying, not sleeping, getting up and going to class…not a fan.
2. i have to get used to a new school again. seriously, i almost feel like i’m going back to csu. that’s what i think of when i think ‘school.’ part of me is terrified. i keep thinking about my last first week. actually my whole first year, but mostly the first week. i will NOT have another one of them. and really, the bigger part of me is excited. i get to start over. this time around, i’ll make friends, i’ll like my roommate, i’ll actually study, and i’ll be happy. this will be an amazing year.
scratch the part about being terrified. i feel like a kid on christmas eve!!!!
3. i won’t be super far away anymore.
again, i’m so used to thinking csu when i say ‘i’m going back to school'(by the way, i’m not a fan of the word ‘college’. partly because it makes me feel old, but mostly because i never got to say ‘i’m going to school’, etc etc, being homeschooled and all that), so now i have to keep reminding myself that i’m only 20 minutes away. a year ago i couldn’t stand the idea, now i’ve decided it’s the most perfect distance from home.
other random thoughts.
i kind of hate that i’ll still be a kind of freshman, but i love that i’ll be living on a hall with them, so i’ll be with other new, lost, desperate for friends kind of people.
i’m actually excited about the whole classes/studying/actually having to be responsible, part of everything. i think i’m gonna be better at it here than at the place.
i don’t think i miss the place at all. i’m trying to remember what it was like to want to stay there and put myself through another year.
ok. i need sleep. less than 8 hours until i meet my roommate, and other awesome people =]