parts of my whole story.

how i got here.

being a transfer/2nd semester freshman is the most annoying thing ever. not that i don’t love living with everyone who’s on my hall, or getting to do all the same orientation stuff as them, i’ve gotten sick of explaining twenty times a day that i’m ‘only kind of a freshman’.
but, it’s a good story. and i’m better at telling it if i write it anyways. so…
i spent my first freshman year at charleston southern university.(how i ended up there is another long story that i won’t put here, right now at least)the short version is, i had been so sure, after hearing about it from a friend at camp, and visiting the school and falling in love with it, that it was God’s plan. and really the more i think about it, i think that was the plan at the time. i think He totally had his hand in everything that went on. i got there and turned inside out. the energetic, loud, happy person that i usually am became polar opposite. i felt invisible, lost, and totally alone in the world. basically just imagine everything that could go wrong, going wrong. but because of all this, i grew closer to God than i’d ever been.(having no other friends kinda makes that happen) but so much was still missing. the next semester got a little better friends-wise, but way worse grades-wise. i was so sick of trying my hardest and still failing, that i pretty much stopped trying. halfway through the semester, my mom brings up the idea of one year at ciu to pick my grades up, and then i could come back to charleston. i was totally against it at the time, i said i’d rather take out loans and stay at csu, or just drop out of school all together, than go there. i can’t even remember why now. but finally once the year was over and i got home and started thinking straight, i realized that i didn’t want to go back to the place, and i may as well apply at ciu even though i still didn’t really want to. again, i have no idea why. so i fill out most of the application except for the essay. three days before camp started, i finally sat down to write it, and God just started kicking sense into my head. i had expected to have to make it up as i went along and somehow make it look like i really did want to go there. but the more i wrote, the more i realized everything i was saying was totally true. it’s like i could feel my heart being changed as i put the words on paper. and you know the rest of the story.
so i’m here, i love it, and the more i think about it, the more i see how God’s perfect plan worked out. i wouldn’t go back and change a thing.
i always thought that camp la vida was where God lived, and i felt like he always stayed behind until i came back the next year, but now i know it’s just a summer house. this is where he is the rest of the year. =]


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