everyone says college is supposed to be the best days of your life. (half the people i’ve heard that from, aren’t in college anymore, go figure)
i’ve never ever agreed with this.
don’t get me wrong. i LOVE college and i’m happy here. (this is talking about ciu. my year in charleston was most definitely the worst days of my life and i’m actually feeling sick thinking about them right now…moving on.) but nothing will ever beat high school.
for the first half of it, i had dance. for the second half, i had my friends. and beth. and the old days of my youth group. i got to be with scott all the time. daniel still lived with us. fridays were for ben lippen football games or long talks in elizabeth’s hot tub, sundays were for youth group. me and leighanne and meghan would sit on one of their porches and talk about nothing for hours on random afternoons in the middle of the week. and summer was the time where everyone wrote me letters telling me about all their adventures and what we were all doing the next weekend that i’d be home.
true enough, the school part of it was miserable. i hated homeschooling, and the other day, i was listening to scott talk about it, and i started feeling more and more stressed the more i thought about what that was like. (i was made for a classroom. some people can learn on a couch, with their brothers yelling all day long, but i couldn’t. [to be fair, i do study for tests better at my house than i do at home])
but everything else makes up for it. i knew how to let people know me back then. i wasn’t as careful. or quiet. i had more friends. what people thought didn’t matter.
i blame a lot of it on csu though; that’s where i found out i couldn’t be myself everywhere. and then i didn’t know what to be. and now that i’m someplace much better, i still can’t seem to shake that idea. even though everyone loves me here, i can’t remember how to…be. if that’s the right word.
this was supposed to be a much happier train of thought. i’m ending it right now.
DISCLAIMER: i’m not complaining, about anything. please, please, don’t go off on me, telling me this is how life works, or everybody has to grow up, or people always change, blah blah blah…no. none of that. i know all that. i’m actually doing pretty well with this thing of growing up. all this is just to say that, in 20 years, when i compare, i’ll look back more happily on high school than on any other time in my life.