stories about nothing and everything

things are changing, it seems strange and, i need to figure this out.

i am not good at predicting which of my friends will stay the same forever.
i am EXCELLENT at predicting when things will go wrong.(seriously. every time i say something bad will happen, even in a joking way, they happen. this is how so many of my middle school crushes ended up marrying some of my worst enemies, why all the girls on my hall got asked to formal, and why my granddad died the time that he did. [not that they wouldn’t have happened otherwise, but i did happen to say that these things would happen and then they did. i’d rather be surprised.])

the worst part is not even being upset about it. when i suddenly can’t stand someone who was once one of my best friends, and i don’t even care…what’s wrong with me? i used to fight harder to keep my friends in my life. i never used to choose to let someone grow apart from me. as rascal flatts would say, i feel bad that i don’t feel bad.

it’s not that i’m not happy with everyone else that’s replaced them. i don’t miss this person or notice their absence from my life. ever.(which again, is such an unfamiliar thing to me. how can i miss jamie when she leaves the room for ten minutes to take a shower, and not miss this person when i go a week without spending any time with them?) honestly, after seeing them, i leave them feeling much more annoyed with the world than i was before. i’m pretty sure both of us are fine with having our own friends and not being in each other’s lives anymore.

but it still bothers me that i don’t feel bad about any of it.

the best part is that the more this friendship deteriorates, the more i see that me and this girl will never change.

no matter how much time we spend apart, no matter how many hours away from each other we live, no matter how many boys come and go through either of our lives, we’ll always be the most important. we’ll always find each other again. we know all this from experience. not like middle schoolers that say they’ll be best friends forever but have no idea what that means. most people like us would have already grown apart; we just got closer as we grew up. we let our friendship change with our lives instead of fighting to keep it the same(that never works). and in ten years when we’ve both got kids and we’re living in different states and we only call each other once a month and see each other once a year, we’ll still be the same. i think that’s what makes us different from other people who call each other best friends. we don’t need that constant reassurance, daily phone calls, being together every second, whatever. when college and life gets in the way, we don’t fight to make time for each other or get mad that we can’t fit into our schedules, we just accept that we’re both busy and settle for knowing that we’re thinking about each other. and when we do manage to find time together, it’s like no time has passed. we’re comfortable in silence but don’t stop talking very often. we think exactly alike and think the same stupid things are funny. we were meant to be twin sisters, but God loves our parents too much to do that to them.
we didn’t just get bored and decide to call each other best friends, we just realized one day that it was a fact of life. and the longer we go on, the more we see that that won’t ever change. anyone who says different either doesn’t know us or is simply jealous.
velcro besties. forever and ever.


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