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to do list for 2011…

1. learn to pray.
i know this sounds like something a 5 year old would say, but i’ve never been talented at this. prayer is a tough thing for us ADD afflicted people, we think too fast. but i’m gonna try real hard this year.

2. have a quiet time in the 10 months out of the year that i’m not at camp.
again. really elementary things here. and actually this sounds really backward, as most people have a harder time finding time at camp to have God time(we get tired. we let the fact that we’re working for God all day long replace our devotion time. we write letters instead. there’s all kinds of excuses.[note: i’ve used each of these several times before, and i’ve had other people agree on them. i’m not pointing fingers.]) but for the most part, camp is where i feel closest to God. it feels more worth it to get up a half hour early there. outside camp, i don’t have the discipline or feel like there’s any point to it.
this isn’t good and i need to fix it.

3. figure out what God wants me to do outside camp.
now. camp is wonderful. camp is my favorite. i’m in 100% confidence that camp is where God wants me. at least for now. but it’s of course only in the summer. and not for the rest of my life. obviously, there’s something else out there that i’m supposed to be working towards or thinking about. but i have no idea what that is.
i think i miss camp so much when i’m away from it because there, i know i’m right in the middle of God’s will. every day i wake up and i do what i was made to do. and i go to sleep knowing i did something eternal. i’m happy there. that’s the place i feel the most alive.
i figure i’m missing something. there has to be something that God has in mind for my off season. i know camp is the big plan for now, but between summers, there’s gotta be something to fill that hole with. and i’m setting out to find it.
———-
SIDE NOTE:
i’m watching jay leno right now. louise c.k is on there saying, if you’re 20, you definitely have never done anything for anybody. true enough, he’s just doing his job and being funny, so i’m not saying this because i’m offended, but i figured i should speak up. God has let me do so much already and i’m not even 20 yet. i am 1)freaked out of my mind cuz i just realized i’m almost there, 2) totally blessed cuz there are a lot of people who hadn’t made an impact who are well over 20, and 3)super excited at what God has up ahead, if when i’m still young and stupid i’ve been able to do all these little things for Him, what kind of big things must He have when i’m old and smart?
———-
4. read all the lord of the rings books.
we’re shifting into the less serious ones now. anyways, i’ve read the hobbit, and i’ve seen all three movies, and i got about a third of the way into the fellowship of the ring, but i’ve never read them all the way through.

5. read persuasion by jane austen.
every time i watch the lake house, i tell myself i need to read this book, but i never have. (i actually got it for my kindle for pc app, then read the first chapter but then jamie wanted to go eat and i forgot to come back to it. that’s the closest i’ve come)

6. read jane eyre.
and this, i want to read every time i watch definitely maybe. i spend a lot more time watching movies then reading books, if you couldn’t tell.

7. watch at least 60 movies.
my old quota for the past few years was 120(10 a month, not so difficult) but after failing so miserably this year, i’ve had to come to terms with the fact that between not being home in the summer, to having to actually study now during the year, i just don’t have that much time anymore. stupid being-grown-up-ness. plus, with only 5 movies a month, i’ll have more time to write reviews of the few that i see, which is half the fun anyways.

8. work back up to where i can do a full split again.
being away from school doesn’t ever sit well with me, so to keep myself from dying of boredom i’ve gotten to where i’m pretty close already. i figure i may as well keep it up.

9. journal at least half as much as i do in the summer, the rest of the time.
seriously. i just have no motivation in the real world, unless it’s school related. but i like writing about my life where other people aren’t reading it. i like having something to go back to to remember things or see how i’ve grown since a certain point. i’m bad at holding things in my mind and much better at putting them on paper anyways.

10. record every minute i spend on facebook.
i hadn’t planned on actually committing to this, since that would mean i’d actually have to do it, and that scares me since i spend a LOT of time there, but i couldn’t stand not to have an even 10. so, i will be physically writing it down every time i get on and how long i was there for. whether i’m actually doing something quality(like writing substantial things on people’s walls for the purpose of keeping in touch, which is pretty much the point of facebook anyways), or mindlessly reading my news feed.
i’ve already been on for 27 minutes, and we aren’t even two hours into the year. this will probably be the most difficult one…

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