stories about nothing and everything

mondays/more homework, please/spiritual claustrophobia/the idea of "talk to me, not about me."

1. i like having a real day of the week where i get a lot done but am not totally required to stick to any schedule. aside from soccer, i have no place that i need to beat any certain time. i could sleep in if i wanted, even though i wake up extra early to have an extra good quiet time and eat breakfast and work out, and i could take the day off and not work at all, even though i usually do most of my homework for the whole week today. but it doesn’t mess me up too bad if none of that happens.
2. WHY did i listen to ADS when they told me i shouldn’t take 18 credits? i know they keep telling me i’m a “very special case”, but i KNOW myself, i KNOW i’m really good with time stuff and i KNOW how to make myself get things done. for me, the more balls i have in the air, the better i work and the better i sleep at night.
what people usually say to that is “but even if you got everything done, you still wouldn’t have time for anything else.” not true. even with herm, 15 credits has me bored out of my life and is still leaving me plenty of time for whatever else i feel like doing. (my only rule with work is that i have to have enough to keep me busy but not so much that i don’t have time to spend with people, because if i make it to the end of the day and have done a week’s worth of homework but haven’t gotten any good conversation in, i feel like i wasted my day)
3. there are two things that are not meant to be done in enclosed spaces: running, and spending time with God. i feel more “with” God when i’m surrounded by things He made(i prefer water, but if i have trees around me and the sky is really pretty, that works too). when i’m outside, i feel more like i’m having a face-to-face conversation, whereas if i’m inside, i feel more like we’re skyping(or even worse, if there are no windows it’s like talking on the phone. heck no, no thank you.)
and then running, well, the whole point of that is to get you places. treadmills stifle all that’s important to life, and they hurt my already bad knees too much(and they make me feel fat. i don’t want an inanimate object to tell me i just ran for an hour and only burned 200 calories). what’s the point of running if you can’t smell the outside, or feel any wind, or have a destination in mind?
4. i’ve been having some really great conversations with God the past week(thank you, chaplains’ chapel). this morning i was sitting and realizing that i talk way more ABOUT God than i do TO God. it’s one slight disadvantage to Bible college. i study Him so much that i forget to have quality one-on-one time. i’m actually like that with a lot of my friends; i think about them and wish they were with me so much that i forget to talk to them.
so i figured out that while not in the same way, “talk to me, not about me” applies to God too. if you never talk to him, you have no reason to talk about him or act like you’re bff. true it actually is a good thing to talk about him, unlike with people, but just like with people, it’s more important to make sure that you’re talking TO them and investing in a real relationship.

and now i’m gonna have a good monday, and do the rest of my homework for the week. and try not to bounce off the walls while waiting the next 7 hours and 40 minutes for interviews tonight.

in case you’ve missed me posting my countdowns on facebook(i think most people are glad for the break, hehe), there are: 98/33/19/16/11/7 days until camp/our first game/spring break/res life announcements/ridge haven/my return to facebook.


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