stories about life and God

little things?

i’ve always wanted to do big things for God. i never imagined i’d be one of those people who was just called to small things.(aside from the fact that i’d so much rather be a mom than have a real job)
in the fall when everyone is talking about their summers, there’s the people went to africa or someplace, the ones that worked at a camp or something similar, and then there’s the ones who just stayed home and worked or maybe took summer classes. i admire the ones in the first group and beg for stories for weeks, and i always feel sorry for the people in the last group. not in a condescending way or anything, like i think there’s something wrong with that or like i’m better than them because i’m in the second group. i just find myself thinking that i can’t imagine not doing something big with my summer.
but you know, the 3rd group people could have just as much of an impact for Christ as anything else.
i’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. and i’m beginning to think that if God were to close the door on my plan A, i wouldn’t be miserable and depressed all summer long, even though it would be weird and i would miss everything and everyone associated with it(i can’t even write the word; i haven’t cried in a few days and like it that way). i could live with His plan B.
not that i know what that is or anything. i’m still clueless, and i’m hoping and praying that our plans are the same. i just wonder if i’m too comfortable with plan A. God has been bringing up the concept of “comfort zones” a lot too. and i don’t like the idea of leaving mine.
yesterday, just for fun, i was looking around online for mission trips that still have spaces open. and the more i thought of leaving hot showers, familiar food, and a comfy bed, the more i wished God would hurry and tell me whether i get to have my way this summer. (not that i feel too strongly that He’ll call me off to the jungle if He does say no to my plan) but that does worry me a bit that i like america so much. in a way i really want to get out of here for a while and see how the rest of the world lives, for that very reason, but in a bigger way i still hope God doesn’t have that in the cards for me.
i’m just very, very confused.


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