[this has the potential to seriously frustrate anyone who is currently angry about the game. and i feel terrible for feeling so positive when everyone else thinks it sucks, i promise i’m not being that obnoxious fake sunshiny person. i mean all i’m saying; the annoying people are just desperate to put happy thoughts out. so you should read it anyways, because it might just cheer everybody up, and i just like to be read…haha.]
all i am is thankful.
anyone who knows anything about me will be shocked to hear this coming from me after we just had our first loss(es). but that’s just one more thing i’m thankful for.
i am thankful…
1. for our wonderful faithful fans who show up and scream their hearts out and make us laugh every week and love us whether we win or lose,
2. for codeine, and the doctor that so nicely offered it to me,
3. for my mom and the ghetto popsicle stick splint she brought me, which is much more comfortable and works better than the fancy shmancy metal one the doctors gave me(thanks to these last two things i haven’t said ‘ow’ in like 3 hours)
4. for my coach, and his awesome wife,
5. for my teammates, who play so great but still want me to play even though i’m not great, who ‘gossip’ ;] and who, i think even the other teams agree, are probably the most fun people to play with. they’re too nice to hate.
6. that i didn’t play today,
7. that i got to watch overtime from the line where you sub, so there were no tall people to try to see around,
8. that God is at work, and that He’s keeping me SO unexplainably happy right now.
really, i should be kicking things and screaming. but i’m not, and it’s not cuz i’m forcing myself to be positive(you know i HATE fakely happy people that say stupid things after games, i would never be one of those myself), it’s that i don’t even feel like it. and i don’t know why. i’m not happy that we lost. i guess i’m just happy that we played so well and there weren’t any calls or goals that i thought were unfair or really bad. it was just a really good game with two really good teams playing.
now back to the title question. last week justin was asking me about our last game(the awful one where i started), and he asked “so what did you learn about God?” and i was so caught off guard by this(i had just finished answering a list of rapid fire questions about what shots i blocked, why i missed the ones i missed, how i felt the whole game, what i learned about playing, other normal soccer related questions) that i couldn’t answer at the time. but for this week, i know what it was.
God needed to humble me. i kind of figured that out last week, but i didn’t realize he’d succeeded, until tonight. when coach warned me that i probably wouldn’t get to play tonight, i actually was able to honestly say i was fine. i’m not just on the team to be special anymore(though that’s still a plus). now i’m there to be whatever i’m needed to be(unless they need me on the field. i’ll never agree to that one), whether it’s in the goal, or on the bench encouraging people. i just love being part of this in any way.
(God is funny. and i think he has a lot of fun teaching me things because for me to learn, he has to get real creative.)
i can’t believe it’s almost over. and next year will be so different…but this year is what counts right now. i have one week left with these people and this coach, and i am gonna enjoy the heck out of it while it’s there and not think about endings or goodbyes.
and i refuse to cry on thursday.