just a thought.

i listen.

when jamie says crazy things and alex doesn’t get it, i’m always able to translate.
today alex pointed this out to me and i say “i lived with her for a year!! that kind of forces you to figure people out.” but jamie reminded me that i can do it for alex too when jamie doesn’t hear her, and then we realized, i do that for everybody.
how? i thought for a while, and i guess it’s because i listen.
i don’t like it when people mention that i don’t talk. for a lot of reasons.
1-it reminds me how few people here know me; anyone who knows me knows that i talk.
2-i realize that i don’t talk enough and i hate that, and when other people point it out it’s just reminding me of it. i don’t LIKE to not understand something about me, and i don’t understand my having no voice.(although i blame the whole issue on csu’s screwing me up; there are some things ciu just isn’t amazing enough to fix)
3-i DO talk. if i know that people want to listen, then i will talk forever.
but mostly, 4-because i feel like no one notices that, even if i never talk, at least i always listen.
i LOVE to listen. i really really like to talk, but listening is just so much better. i already know myself, so when i’m the one doing the talking, i’m not learning anything. when i listen, i get to learn about someone else.
i like to understand people. i’m good at understanding people. if you don’t listen, that doesn’t happen. i’m way more concerned with understanding everybody around me than making them understand me.(even though i guess i do complain about people not understanding me…i should stop doing that.)
i’d much rather have a friend who never talked than a friend who never listened.
people love to be listened to.
the more i listen, the less chance there is of my mouth getting me in trouble.
and, i really do talk. i like to. i want to. but even in high school, and at camp, where you’d never lose me because all you had to do was follow my voice, i still like listening better.

just a thought.


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