curtain call.

i love everything about the ciu bowl. i’ve been counting down to this since february.
i love being part of something.
i love that we go to such a small school that every single person on campus gets so excited about this one game.
i love that so many alumni want to come back and play.
and i love that no matter who wins, everybody is so happy for each other and has so much fun.(yeah yeah, i know i’ve never been on the losing side. but did you see how crazy i went when allison got that touchdown? imagine how happy i’d be if they got to win!)
i talk a good game. i say i play to either win, or do something that people remember me for. but i forget both of those when the actual game comes. when i see all the things we did over and over in practice til we were ready to cry suddenly working, and everybody’s cheering for everybody else, and dr beyer is making everybody laugh, i can’t think about anything but just playing, and all that together is just so, much, FUN that it’s impossible to get mad at anybody or care who wins. it’s like there’s enough positive energy in the air that it could cure cancer and it’s the BEST feeling. ever.
and in a way, i feel like we’re all just acting. we step in this time warp that makes 48 minutes go by in a heartbeat, put on big tough scary football player faces, and we play the game. we’re in character. no pain you cause your roommate or best friend matters; you’re playing your part.
but the second it’s over, we’re us again. everybody’s hugging each other and everybody’s happy, winners and losers alike. and i look around, and notice who i was playing against(i never remember during the game, i just see a blur of people and know not to let any of them near the quarterback), and just laugh. because a)i don’t usually spend much time in real life visualizing how to knock courtney bennett off her feet, 2)who KNEW all these girls that i see every day could play such good football? and mostly, 3)because i didn’t see a single girl on the north not cheering for us when we won. without even a second thought, every one of them came running and hugging us.
i felt really stupid at first after the big deal i made about having to win, and now i kinda wish we had lost just to see if i really would have gotten upset, or if i would have been excited for my friends on the other team who practiced just as much as we did and also wanted to win. but i feel like it would have been the second.
yeah, i’m super competitive. winning does make me happy. but seeing how much my ciu family loves each other makes me happier.
one last thought: i know i opened with saying i loved everything about this, but i lied. i HATE how short it has to be…i mean, i’m playing, and everything’s going so fast, and i just don’t have TIME to process everything and remember it. just three more minutes per quarter, all we’re asking here.
now i feel like the day after christmas. but it’s so worth it. =]


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