stories about life and God

overactive tear ducts.

i am a cry-er. not in a scary, manic depressive emo way…or even an annoying, dramatic, omg-linda’s-crying-again-why-won’t-she-stop-already way. but in any situation where it’s even slightly appropriate, you can bet i’ll be the first one to tear up. (i’m usually laughing at myself while i’m at it though)
i cried when i saw toy story 3 the first time.
i cried when mr wenger first read “love that dog” to our english class(and every time after that i’ve read it to matthew).
i cry almost every single friday in the summer when my campers leave me.
i am always the first one to lose it on the last last day of camp.
i cry anytime i have to say goodbye to anyone or anything.
i cry when i’m angry.(this annoys me so much. it’s much less scary when the person telling you what-for is sobbing with every word; hence why i write nasty letters instead of confronting people. hehe)
i cry when i get really happy surprises. (this kind of crying is accompanied by a lot of jumping up and down, little noises like what would come from a teacup pig, and talking in very fast, incomplete sentences)
i cry when other people cry.
i cry at weddings. (if i really know both people. if it’s my good friend marrying some guy i’ve never met, i’m usually okay)
i cry when i laugh. all the time.(i am bad at talking while crying, and talking while laughing. when i’m doing both at once, i can’t get any words out, which makes me laugh more, which makes me cry more, and so forth)
and don’t even get me started on when i yawn. i’ve stopped wearing makeup to 8:00 classes because by the end, i look like i’ve been punched in the face seventeen times.(i’ve tried every brand of waterproof eyeliner; nothing works. i should bottle up my tears and sell them as makeup remover. it would work just the same)
funnily enough, i don’t cry about really serious things. when really bad things happen, i’m dead to the world.(which is why i don’t like for people to think something is horribly wrong when i AM crying…that means i’m gonna be okay. if i’m not crying, then there’s need for alarm)
i hated all this about me when i was younger. i felt like it made me seem un-tough and super girly. but eventually i figured out it’s just how i am. it’s not a bad thing. i’m not an overemotional drama queen just because any strong emotion i ever have(happy, sad, angry, scared, stressed out, tired, what have you) is hardwired to my tear ducts. it just means my heart is too big so my eyes have to share some of the work.
that’s my theory anyways.
not that it’s a bad thing if you’re the kind of person who just doesn’t cry. you aren’t heartless. well, as long as you’re okay with the idea of it and it’s just not how you feel things. if you’re one of those who refuses to cry because it’s weak and you don’t think anyone else should do it either, well, that isn’t okay. and you won’t really enjoy being friends with me…even though i’ll still love you.
so, the moral of this long story: Jesus wept; so can you. and if you ever have to see me cry, know that it probably isn’t a big deal. but you can hug me just to make sure. =]


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