i wish there was a whole course just about how dreams work. or what they show about your personality.
for instance. i have a few dreams that i’ve had on a pretty regular basis for as long as i can remember.
1. the one where i’m on a roller coaster or some kind of ride. maybe i just start the dream on it, or sometimes i actually realize that i’m getting on it. usually i’m having fun, but sometimes i didn’t want to be there in the first place. no matter how it starts, something goes wrong when we’re high up in the air(maybe the track breaks, or my seatbelt disappears, or the ride gets stuck and i for some reason start climbing on the track itself and get run over by the next train). sometimes there are other people on it with me, or sometimes the park is deserted(and in that case i realize in the middle that no one is there to stop the ride so i wriggle out of the seatbelt, jump off and either 1)wake up right before i splatter on the ground, or 2)whatever guy i’ve most recently thought about catches me). this is my most common and oldest recurring dream, the first time i remember having is when i was six and we had just gone to king’s dominion that day(that’s virginia’s version of carowinds, if anyone didn’t know).
2. then there’s the one where i’m in a big, complicated house(or another kind of building but usually a house), like with a lot of stairs and floors. there’s always more than one way to get anywhere, and ways to go in laps around it. in real life i love exploring houses i’ve never been in, so of course my dream self is going to town with all these hundreds of stairs and turns, but then one of two things happens. 1)i get lost in the house, and start panicking more and more until i’m just running around screaming until i wake up, or 2)someone starts chasing me. it can be anybody, sometimes it’ll be someone i normally like in real life but i’ll be scared of them for some reason(maybe it’ll be leighanne with glass stuck in her face, or jamie with a snake, or my mom with no hair, or a camper i have bad memories of) but usually it’ll be someone it would be normal to run from(like a clown or an army of mannequins). i run and run, and sometimes i’ll laugh because i know the house and the chasing person doesn’t, or sometimes i’ll get scared and forget how to get around. one way or another i get to screaming like in the other version. usually we get to one of those places where you can make a circle(like with two staircases going into one room) and i get caught going around it. i always wake up before it ends, except for one time when it transitioned into the next dream.
then i also have flashback dreams of bad things that have happened. as in, the exact events play out just like they did, i see and hear the same things and feel the same emotions. things such as,
-the night britnie left
-when beth left
-when my grandpa died
-the day i found out that the guy i was in love with from seventh through tenth grade was getting married
you get the point. i’m afraid of losing people.
and sometimes, i just dream about talking to people. i can never remember any details when i wake up, and nothing special happens. i just have a really good conversation with someone(usually someone i wish i talked to more; it’s rarely someone like scott or leighanne or someone else that i’m really close with in real life) and then i wake up and get sad because it wasn’t real.
it’s a symptom of ADD to have dreams where instead of being inside yourself(you know, seeing things from your point of view like you would in real life), you watch yourself and everything happening to you in the dream. that’s how almost all of my dreams are, and have been my whole life. sometimes, i’ll have a dream like that, within another dream where i “wake up” and am then inside myself so it feels real since i woke up. when i wake up in real life, i’m always either really scared or really angry, because the dream felt so real that i don’t know what’s going on now. i’m always inside myself for my worst dreams. as if the subject matter weren’t bad enough, you add in an extra bit of real-life-feel and you get what i call a nightmare squared.
ever since i started taking melatonin about two weeks ago, i’ve had even weirder dreams(it’s a common side effect), and since i’m sleeping more deeply and not waking up 3 times during the night, they last longer, and i’m always inside myself so they feel twice as real. i don’t like it.