stories about nothing and everything

good feelings.

making someone smile when i’m having a bad day.
getting in bed with just-washed sheets on it.
turning in a paper that i actually worked at.
eating a frosty with french fries, nutella with teddy grahams, or peanut butter with oreos, instead of a spoon in either circumstance. =]
cutting on the tv, flipping to a random channel, and seeing that my favorite episode of how i met your mother is on.
cleaning when i’m angry.
getting a compliment on a day when i didn’t wear makeup.
finishing a run and slapping the light pole at the top of the hill.
clicking “publish” on a good post that’s sat forgotten in my drafts for months. like this one. =]

stories about school

senior year adventures, crossing the country, and the isolation cabin.

1. i’m a senior. i still don’t believe that, no matter how many times i say it. (and between my middle school campers last week, and all the freshmen i’ve met this week, i’ve had to say it A LOT.)
so far, college has sucked. i mean really really sucked. my best friend at the time when i started my freshman year told me you get to choose two of three things to have in the next four years: a social life, good grades, and/or enough sleep.
i messed that one up pretty bad; i have no friends and my gpa is barely above what i need to not fail out.
but i do sleep more than a typical hibernating bear. =]
all summer i’ve been terrified for camp to end. i couldn’t(can’t) stand the idea of going into my last year, seeing it go by like every other year, then having to grow up and not having four crazy years to look back on. sure i have all my summers, but i’m gonna have kids someday who will ask me what college was like, and i don’t want to tell them it sucked.
so i decided that this year would be the least sucky one ever.
it’s only been going on for six days, and it hasn’t even totally officially started yet, so i don’t yet count it a big issue that i don’t have any adventures to tell about yet. =p

2. i hate running. i can never remember a time in my life that i did not hate running. and i’m really bad at it. like REALLY bad. as in, a 10 minute mile is an accomplishment for me.
so, as most people who hate and suck at running, i joined the cross country team. =]
i still don’t know whether or not it was a bad life decision…but i do know that i love my team and my coach, and at the end of the day, when i’m dying of soreness and exhaustion, i’m happy and looking forward to waking up the next day. and that’s so much more than i could say last semester, so i’m not even thinking about quitting.

3. the isolation cabin, the bat cave, the bunker…and holli calls it my hell hole. if you can think of any other creative names for my depressing single room in the stairwell, please let me know and i’ll add them to the list because they make me laugh.
i go back and forth on whether i like it here or not. when i got here on sunday, i walked in and started crying like a baby. i need constant human interaction in order to function…and there aren’t any of those living in this room. but monday afternoon i remembered how nice it is to be messy and not have anyone care if i leave a sock on the floor.
every day i change my mind like four times.
“oh look! it’s been three days and i’m still only half unpacked…but wait…i don’t care that there are boxes all over the floor…and no one else has to care…this is AWESOME.”
“holy crap people on the stairs, shut UP i’m trying to sleep.”
“it’s 3 am, all the lights are still on, i’m loudly skyping with my best friends about missing camp, and i’m not keeping anyone awake!!!!!!!!!!”

and so on. it does work out well that i don’t have a roommate to worry about waking up when i’m getting ready at 5:30 in the morning, and once classes start and i’m buried in work, i think it’ll turn out good for me to not have anyone to watch movies with or go for late night runs to walmart or cookout…but for now i’m so lonely it’s hard to remember the good things.

so, all this to say: i’m getting old. i’m running a LOT. and this 88% extravert thing is really inconvenient to my circumstances. but God is wonderful, i love my team, and i’m thankful for everyone that i have. =]