i don’t like that i need people. i like people(ok, love them more than anything), i just don’t like that i need them. i want to be free to only be with them when i want to.
small side note to explain some of this. as i’ve griped about in my past two posts, i hurt my ankle last week and haven’t been able to run the past six days. and all week i’ve been in the WORST mood.
i also haven’t been hungry all week, and only realized yesterday that i’ve eaten probably less than 500 calories a day all week. so i got a little concerned and googled reasons for this, and i found the answer to everything bad about my week.
see, when your body is used to lots of vigorous exercise ALL the time(such as running 5-7 miles a day), and then you abruptly stop that routine, your hormones can get screwed up and make you get cranky and lose your appetite.
which is apparently why all week, i have NOT wanted to be with people. but i knew all week that i needed them and would feel much better if were with some.
so yesterday when i had one of those supremely awful days where everything just seems to go wrong and when it’s finally over, all you want to do is go to bed, i picked up my phone to text my RA that i felt too sick to go on our hall date…and then God says to me in his exasperated what-are-you-doing-you-silly-child voice, “GO.” i look up and out loud say, “do i HAVE to?” and as with any time i ask him an obvious question, i got nothing. he knew i knew the answer.
a few hours later i’m happier than i’ve been in two weeks.
life is better with company.