stories about nothing and everything · stories about school

i. am. so. full.

before work, i was looking at my calendar to figure out when i’m free for a weekend. and i was complaining that i hate being constantly booked like this, thinking i need more room for spur of the moment things…then i had to go to work, proving my point as i wished i had time to sit and write my thoughts about being busy.

but work is always good time to think, so i finished my thoughts and i not only finally discovered the difference between “having your cake and eating it too” and “between a rock and a hard place” as i’ve tried to figure out for years(the first is for decisions where all the choices are good, the second is for decisions between things that you don’t want to do but you have to pick one), i also decided my life is pretty great.

small side note, this summer at staff training we took this personality test, and the four types were colors. oranges like spontaneity, golds like plans, greens like whatever is most logical depending on the situation, and blues like whatever satisfies the people around them. if you hadn’t already guessed, whether by knowing me or just by reading what i’ve already said, i’m an orange.

i don’t like set-in-stone things. i like the freedom to wake up on thursday with no plans for the weekend, then find something crazy to do. surprises leave no room for disappointment; plans and anticipation suck out the fun.
this semester, i have so few hours that aren’t pre-filled. not because i’ve suddenly gotten good at scheduling; i just have too many things automatically scheduled for me. classes, chapel, work, cross country practice, football practice, meets, even my sleep is planned out. and for the hours that i do get to choose what i want with them, that mostly just means i get to choose what homework i do in them.

but oranges are also adaptable and resourceful; so if i have to live like a gold for awhile, i can find a way to be happy with it.

so today as i found that i only have two free weekends between now and christmas break, i thought to myself “when do i have time to do things i WANT to do between all the things i HAVE to do?” and i realized, i really want to do all these things i have to do.
1. classes.
i LOVE my classes this semester. every one of them. it took me forever to finally decide on a “least favorite” because i like them all so much. i actually want to learn all the things i’m learning in them.

2. chapel.
i don’t know if i just wasn’t trying enough to listen before or if we’ve gotten better speakers this year, but somehow i look forward to chapel every day now. i never feel like skipping.

3. work.
as if it wasn’t enough that i don’t need to drive to it and the hours are crazy flexible, i really like my job. i get paid to people-watch, listen to random conversations, and make people laugh. sure i do all of that while standing on a sticky floor behind a hot counter and putting nasty leftover food on plates that burn my hands, but i usually don’t think much about that with all that other fun going on.

4. cross country practice.
this is my favorite part of the day. even in the beginning when i still hated running, it was worth it for the awesome people i get to suffer with. now that i like what i’m doing, it actually feels like a break from everything else.

5. football practice.
i can find no possible complaints here. i didn’t realize until our first one how much i’ve missed real sports. yes i like running, but i need something to do with my hands once in a while. cross country is a break from life…football is a break from cross country.

6. sleep.
oddly enough, i LIKE being forced to get up early. by the time i go to class, i’ve been awake for 3 hours and i actually feel like getting things done. and i don’t mind as much as i thought i would having to go to bed early in order to survive early mornings. this is the first time in my life i’ve actually gotten enough sleep; if my schedule were wide open i’d end up going to bed at midnight and sleeping in until ten minutes before class like i always have before. this way i get way more done and i’m never stressed.

7. meets.
no need for explanation. i’ve already written plenty about how much i love everything about them, from the road trip to the races. i’m totally willing to give up every one of my saturdays for that.
so even though my life is full, it’s not the kind of full where i have too much on my plate and not enough time to eat it all. i have just enough time for everything, and the fact that i’m always spending that time doing something that makes me happy makes up for the lack of spare time.


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