stories about life and God

gift of grace.

a few weeks ago, one of my favorite chapel speakers came to ciu, and he talked about admitting that we’re good at things. he said it’s not prideful to acknowledge when we excel at something, as long as we remember that it’s a “gift of grace” from God. God MADE you to be really smart, or artistic, or athletic, or funny.

as for me, God graciously gifted me with an ability to…well i can’t even think of how to word it so i’ll just tell the story first.

i learned a lot from my acteens the last week of camp, but i’ve found that the most important thing didn’t even have to do with camp, and that’s that i really love living with teenage girls.
people keep telling me how great a job i did with that cabin. and i keep insisting that it just happened to be a really special group.
but whenever i tell someone that, i always feel God poking at my heart reminding me to give him more credit than that.
this is what happened, and i don’t know how it did because i didn’t consciously do anything to purposely make this happen.

those girls loved each other and they loved me. and i of course loved every one of them to death.
i was so simultaneously their best friend and their leader that i couldn’t tell you where one role ended and the other began. it’s like the best friend circle was blue, and the leader circle was red, and i was a perfect purple. i never felt any less their friend when it was time for me to teach Bible study or make them go to bed, and i never felt like less of a leader when i was laughing with them at the dinner table counting how many napkins we’d used.
living life with those girls was honestly one of the happiest i’ve ever felt in my life. i’ve always loved camp, but i’ve never loved it like that. it’s like the first time i wore rainbows after thinking for years that old navy flip flops were the best. this was the most perfect “fit” i’d ever had in any ministry ever.

i don’t know how to describe what this means i’m talented at. being a cabin leader? eh. that’s a gift of grace we already knew about. leading 8th graders? maybe. all i know is that i would be totally content to live in a house full of fourteen-year-old girls for the rest of my life.
i want to hear their stories and share mine with them.
i want to show them how beautiful, how wonderfully unique, how worthy of love they are.
i want to make them feel safe; be a safe person to talk to and give them a safe place to be.
i want to teach them things and let them teach me things.
i want to cheer them on through every little thing they do.
i want to be their beth.

i’m excited to see how God considers this into his calculations.


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