stories about life and God · stories about school

then God said "pause." and it was so.

in the words of my dear friend lexi, let me tell you about my night.

my living room currently looks like my semester exploded in it. my bible charts are all over the floor, and the couch is literally covered in notes for communicating God’s word and marriage &family, except for a me-shaped space* which is only there because i just got up and fled from the mess to listen to my last lecture for my online philippians class in the kitchen.
i have one more lecture and one more reflection assignment to do tonight, a one page book review and three exams tomorrow, then by friday i have to finish an 8 page paper, a lesson plan, and 19 bible chart frames.

in the middle of working on too many things at once, i came across this and took a five minute study break to read it.
i liked it, but i was busy, so i tried to forget about it.
but i kept thinking about it. and suddenly i felt okay to take a break and write something.

so i thought more about that, because it’s really good, and because as you probably know if you’ve spent any time with me or have read anything else i’ve ever written: i am bad at slowing down. i hear the word “rest” and instantly start to go stir crazy.
but i realized that i’ve been learning what rest actually is.

slowing down doesn’t require us to stop. it just means a temporary change of pace.

when i’m running a race and my coach tells me to slow down, he isn’t telling me to walk, or to never pick my speed back up again, or that i’m doing something wrong, and he definitely isn’t telling me to stop. he just means that i’m doing good, but in order to run the rest of the race the best i can, i need to take my pace back just a bit, for just a while, so i’m not dying at the end. i’m not being lazy if i’m not running my absolute hardest the entire race; anyone who tries to do that is being stupid and will never finish a race well, if at all.

if i keep going my hardest for too long, then i will have to stop. and when i start back, not even my fastest sprint will get me done as good as i planned at the beginning.

and when God tells me to put down my books and breathe for a minute, he’s not saying that the hard work i’ve been doing is a bad thing. he doesn’t want me to give up. but if i want to continue doing as well as i have, i need to take a break.

i sprinted too long this semester. so i had to stop. and if i had only listened to God and rested more in the middle, i wouldn’t be working myself to death this week.

but even this short break at 3 am has helped; i’m already feeling more motivated. so i’m getting back to my all nighter now, and i hope somehow in the midst of all the projects and exams and last minute things you have going on, God gives you a little rest in whatever way you like it best.

*seriously. if you look at the edge of the pile of papers, you can totally see exactly how i was sitting. things like this make me wish i had instagram.