stories about nothing and everything · stories about school

why [it seems like] i never write anymore+random recent thoughts.

one of my friends(aka one of the only three people who ever read this) commented that i hadn’t written anything in a while and she missed it.

this makes me sad.

but the funny thing is, i feel like i write all the time. it’s just that no one else can tell, because i never post anything. i try…really really hard. you should see my list of drafts on here.

i’ve been having the worst time finishing anything. not just blog posts. i mean books i try to read, movies i try to watch, nights i try to sleep through(seriously, i lay in bed for an hour, can’t sleep, get up and do other things then go back to bed when i’m about to fall over).

i don’t not want to write. i’m not sick of it. i don’t have writer’s block; if anything i have too many things to write about(probably one more reason i can’t finish anything, i’m working on nine at a time).

i miss sharing my thoughts with people. since i’m extroverted practically to the point of dysfunction, i hate keeping anything inside my head. even if only three people read a post, it’s comforting to know that it’s at least out there for anyone who might come across it.

so, just so i can have the satisfaction of clicking “publish” and waiting to see if it gets read, and to avoid the irony of letting this post sit in my drafts for months before i finally finish it, here’s a couple of the things i’ve been thinking about. most have a post-in-the-making about them. actually i’ll make it easy: if it has a star by it, don’t expect to hear more about it.

1. costa rica. one post is a just a long list of everything we did, almost like reading my journal, but far less detailed and slightly less personal. the next is on things that surprised me while i was there(if anyone who went with me happens to be reading this, yes i do mean the list that you saw me writing on every time we got back to the hotel). then i have one on serious life lessons from God, and another on not-so-serious lessons from observing the world around me.

2. CONVERGE!!!!!! this was God’s sequel to the turning inside out of my life that he did in costa rica. every second of the weekend, i was either talking to people about camp, having my heart’s eyes wrenched further open than i knew they could go, or just having crazy fun. it was one of the best three day times of my life, and i haven’t stopped talking about it ever since…but there’s so much to write about that it’s overwhelming me out of finishing any of my three posts about it.

3. leadership.
4. discipleship.
5.* how much bookstore owners must hate me. i sit on their floor for hours reading a book, then never buy anything.
6. how my life plans are dramatically changing.
7.* the impossibly bipolar weather. it was 38 degrees when i was getting ready for class this morning, so i bundled up in more layers than someone climbing everest would, only to find, when i walked out of chapel three hours later, that the temperature had jumped up 30 degrees higher. seriously south carolina, your mood changes faster than my opinion of ciu.

and…DONE. sigh.

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