this story has a happy ending; i only complain for a paragraph or two. just a heads up. =)
let me tell you about my day.
i woke up with a ridiculous headache.
the caf was out of cinnamon raisin bagels at breakfast.
i drove to bi-lo, which isn’t even five miles from school, and this crazy woman behind me honked at me for going “too slow,”* which scared me for a split second, which was long enough to almost make me hit the guy turning in front of me.
i found that bi-lo charges six bucks for my toothpaste.
i narrowly missed being hit by two cars at once(like t-boned on both sides…so i guess figure 8-boned, if we’re naming it after the shape my
and that was all before 9:30 in the morning.
fast forward through a lot more of the kind of small events which by themselves would only be a teeny bit upsetting, but which seem like the end of the world when they happen one after the other like a domino chain. the usual first world problems that i whine so much about.
through all this i’d kept telling myself, “there’s soccer tonight, there’s soccer tonight…” but then even that started going wrong.
this is where the story starts to get happy; don’t get bummed out and quit reading yet!
at half time we were only down by one goal, but after the day i’d had, letting in even one shot, much less four, made me eight times as mad as it normally would.
as i was walking back to the field, i thought, “God, can you just please give us a win? this has just been a terrible horrible no good very bad day.”
all he answered was, “no good?”
then the whistle blew, so i didn’t have time to fight with him. but not thirty seconds later, we scored, and as i jumped up and down and yelled for my team, the lightbulb came on.
God is ALL good, and he is EVERYWHERE. so no day is ever “no good.”
we won the game, and i was all thanking God inside…but then our second game happened.
if i go into details i might get upset again, so i won’t. but it was a very bad game, and it made me very sad.
and i was mad at myself for being sad, because i’d been so determined to be all “God is still good” and everything even if we lost.
as soon as i got back, i threw my stuff in my room, kicked my cleats down the hall, and ran outside as fast as i could.
i ran until i was too tired to run anymore, and more importantly, too tired to think. i fell right in the cold grass and i bawled my eyes out.
then i just laid there and listened.
i heard all the cars on the bridge way across the river, and i looked at all the stars in the sky, and i thought two semi-deep, mostly obvious thoughts.
1. there’s people in those cars who are just as important as i am, and a lot of them had way harder days than i did.
2. the stars would fall out of the sky if God weren’t holding them up. and if he can keep the stars from squishing me, which would be a big problem, he can totally handle my life, which is only a tiny problem.
then i started to tell God i was sorry for being all upset…but i stopped.
i realized, it’s ok to feel bad about bad things, and it’s ok to feel good about good things. i just have to remember to trust that the good is always bigger than the bad, and thank God for that instead of fussing at him about the bad.
he never promised there wouldn’t be bad…but he does promise to never make me go through it alone, and that he’ll make sure i always make it out of it.
i sat on that thought for a minute(laying on the grass was getting cold), and all the good things that happened today started popping into my mind, and then my sad, angry, frustrated tears turned into some good kind of tears that i don’t even have a word for.**
yes, i’m sad that we lost.
yes, i’m angry that the ref and the other team were so awful to us.
yes, i’m frustrated at myself for the five goals(between both games) that were my fault.
i’m also thankful that i’m able to play and that my team is so great, and i’m totally at peace because no matter what, good day or bad day, win or loss, rain or shine, i still belong to God. and the mail will still come. however that quote goes…
God is good. and when your life is full of God, there is no such thing as a day that is “no good.” even if there may be terrible or horrible or very bad things in that good day.
*meaning, the speed limit was 35 and i was going 40.
**i’d call them joyful/thankful/peaceful tears, but to call them that would be like looking at a purple wall and saying “that wall is red and blue,” because i wasn’t feeling them each separately. i felt all those things so overwhelmingly at the same time that i couldn’t tell them apart from each other. finally i decided that God was doing one of his weird philippians 4:7 things, and just went with it.