This was a surprisingly awful day. Rather than write about anxiety and running out of spoons, I’m choosing to write something funny instead, because I have an obnoxious song in my head.
Also I’d have a whole carton of eggs if I’d written each of my January posts on an egg. That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever said but I’m just so proud of myself I can’t even think straight about it. Few of them have been at all good, but that’s why my goal wasn’t to write a super quality post every day.
1. This ain’t love, it’s clear to see, but won’t you stay with me?
Of course that ain’t love, that’s codependency. What do you want me to stay for if what we’ve got isn’t love? Clearly I’m enabling you, so rather than stay I think I’ll run from you as far as I can.
2. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you…
That sounds like a very controlling, possessive kind of love that probably isn’t very loving.
3. I was praying that you and me might end up together…
I actually love this one, I just squirm at that one drop of bad grammar in an otherwise fine song.
4. You’re cooler than the flipside of my pillow
Another song I like, but that’s just the most odd compliment.
5. I can’t feel my face when I’m with you, but I love it.
Are they singing about cocaine?
6. I really really really really really really like you. Do you want me? I want you. Do you want me too?
I just don’t get what this song is about. I might catch it if there were seven really’s, but six is just not enough.
7. If you’re trying to find the words to describe a girl without being disrespectful…how is “damn, you’s a sexy bitch” the best thing you can come up with? It’s like they thought, “Well, I can’t think of anything nice so I may as well say the LEAST respectful thing instead.”
8. Last summer one of my girls started singing “Give it to me I’m worth it” and I stopped all activity to tell all twelve of them how that song is terrible and depressing and how they ARE worth it because Jesus loves them so they actually don’t need a boy to give them ANYTHING, especially what the song is talking about. They were eleven. It was sad.(The song is SO catchy though, even though it’s disgusting)
9. Speaking of disgusting, I can’t even bring myself to quote any line from “Love Myself”…I don’t know how she’s not embarrassed for herself. And let’s remember that this girl is actually smart and talented; she’s the little girl in True Grit. She was nominated for an Oscar. How did she get here?
10. Annnnd the fact that “Love Me Like You Do” got nominated for a Golden Globe makes me lose a good chunk of my faith in the Hollywood Foreign Press.
One day I’ll make a list of good lyrics to make up for all this negativity.